I drew up this case study for a womens meet up in my parish... Ponder on it and let me have your responses please.
I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints. Ephesians 1:18
Gbade, a high flying bank executive married to his childhood sweetheart Arita. Their home was filled with love and joy and within a year of marriage, they were blessed with a son, and not too long after that, a daughter. Aritas children were her life and she found so much joy in them. Gbade didn’t like her receiving guests at home or going out to visit friends as he believed they would have a negative influence on her. She was allowed to see her mum once in awhile and that was it. She didn’t want to rock the boat of her marriage so she accepted life like that and made the best of her children and husband. The pregnancys had taken its toll on her beautiful shape and had become quiet laidback with her looks considering she really had nowhere to go to. It was becoming difficult to differentiate between her and the paid helps. She really couldn’t be bothered.
Gbade complained severally about her dressing and looks, but Arita always told him she had heard but did nothing about it. When he persisted, it turned into ugly fights and he finally gave up complaining.
Suddenly, Gbades attitude towards her changed, he spends most of his time, when home, nitpicking about her housekeeping, attacking her with cruel words that eat away at the confident woman she used to be. She tries to be understanding and discuss the problems he has at work, but his recent escalation of anger scares her. The fights got worse, and the conversation’s became few, it was only about the children, housekeeping, and meals. Before she knew it, it was almost a year and there had been no intimate touch between them, not to mention sex.
Gbade now kept late nights, and was always away from the house. He only came home to sleep and change his clothes and he was out again. He always had one business meeting or the other. His cloths came back reeking of female perfumes, sometimes, she saw lipstick and powder stains on his clothes. His phone rang in the middle of the night and it was always a female voice at the other end, she realised he must be cheating and she confronted him. This only led into a fight.
She was scared, had lost her self-confidence, didn’t think much of herself and was heartbroken. She had no one to turn to. Where was God in all this?, why was this happening to her?, Life had been un-fair to her she thought.
On one of her trips to the club with her children, the only place she was allowed to go to besides the market, she met Tamuno. He was attentive, helpful and always listened to her. They became good friends and she confided her problems with him, he advised her and she tried her best to use the advise in her home, but nothing worked.
She was at least happy with her friendship and always looked forward to going to the club so she could meet with Tamuno. He invited her for a movie with the children the following Saturday and she was over the moon with excitement. In her excitement, she pondered, am I doing the right thing?
As luck would have it, Gbade woke up that morning and rushed out saying he had a meeting, as usual, she quickly chipped in she had to see her mom with the children, she had called to tell her she was not feeling well. He told her to go ahead and she felt elated. She hurriedly got ready, and left for the Cinema with the children, they bought their tickets and as she approached the doors of the cinema hall walking with Tamuno and the children, Gbade and a lady walked out with their arms wrapped around each other.
The look of shock on both sides, and then the accusations started.
They ended up in the office of a marriage counsellor.
1. If you are Arita, what would you do?
2. What is the cause of this breakdown?
3. Who is the guilty party?
4. Where was God in all this?